a penny for my thoughts.

i keep a memo in my phone for topics i want to eventually talk about on here. this post will be extremely random, but for my own sake, to sort my thoughts out, here goes:

1. i am taking a class called american health care systems the class is surprisngly interesting. i am enjoying learning on a less threatening, ground and it is enjoyable. kinda. the class gets rather heated at times, but i really enjoy those moments, because i like to hear people's opinions, because most of the time, with this topic, i really don't care. we were discussing medical insurance this week and let me tell ya, people had a mouthful. we discussed everything from federally funded insurance to group insurance to private insurance. when the topic of medicare and medicaid arose, people freaked out to say the least. everyone has their own opinion, but there is no need to be that mean-spirited to people you do not know. i have my own opinion on healthcare and insurance, (that i will keep to myself at this point) but i would never point blank call someone out and tell them they were "milking the system." let's just say, it got pretty raunchy. but it is times like that where i actually find myself enjoying the class and actually remembering what we talked about. is that horrible?

2. i am taking a children's literature class this semester and other than the extreme amount of work in the class, i am enjoying myself. EXCEPT when my teacher decides to read the book "and tango makes three." if you haven't heard of this book, let me just tell you it has been banned in many environments, and in my opinion for a good reason. the book is about two penguins who live in a zoo. these two penguins are of the same sex and the zoo keeper gives them an egg to hatch together. when the baby penguin is born he discovers he has two daddies. do i believe that at some point in time people should be told what this means, yes. probably. but i would have a huge issue if my child came home telling me he/she read this book, because it is a parent's choice and children don't need to be exposed to this topic at such a young age. this is all my opinion, and if you don't agree, i'm sorry. but i do stand firm with this thought.

3. on to a better topic. DNOW! this weekend was Disciple Now at my church. for those of you who do not know what DNOW is, it is a fun-packed weekend for junior-high and high school students. we had about four churches involved around the area and there were over 4oo students this weekend. it was, to say the least, amazing. i got the opportunity to be with ninth and tenth grade girls and let me be the first to say, they kept me on my toes. we had so much fun, and i wouldn't change it for anything. the speaker new how to "preach it." robbie robinson was awesome and mike'schair led worship and they were fantastic. i struggled with a lot of things prior to the weekend and wasn't really looking forward to many parts of the process, but god revealed himself to me over the weekend and it was truly life-changing. friday night during worship robbie had an altar-call and asked the leaders to stand around the room. one of my favorite girls from wednesday night youth made a b-line for me and we stepped out of the room to talk. i explained the gospel to her and i could feel god's presence in that very room. it was mind-blowing. i asked her a few questions and gave her time to think and she wouldn't leave the room until she prayed the prayer of salvation. god is so good. if nothing else would have happened throughout the rest of the weekend, hollie would have been worth it. praise the lord.

today was day one of my "fasting" period. it hasn't hit a hard point yet, but i am sure it will get more challenging as the days go by. i am pumped to see what god is going to reveal to me. i know that at the end of this period i am going to have a new-found knowledge and i can't wait. tonight is girl's bible study and i am so excited to see the girls! it's been two weeks and i must say i miss them! i wanted to close with a quote from my pastor about the role of a mother and father. i never really contemplated this, but this is extremely real and relevant in every girl's life. i never realized that the absense of a father can truly mar a girl's self-esteem and self-worth. a special blessing goes out to the father's actively involved in their children's lives.

"a mom teaches a girl how to be a woman, a dad teaches a girl how to feel like a woman."

and so it begins...

i am definitely in a blah mood. i am just rolling through life and it is not making me very happy. i feel lost and out of place 89% of the time, but i am trying to stay faithful to what my purpose in this life is. i did have a few sweet treats. today i went to my american health care systems class which normally lasts for three hours. bless the teacher for letting us out an hour later! praise the lord. i also got to eat lunch with one of my favorite people at one of my favorite places! i met mereidth for lunch at my daddy's cheescake. we always have the best discussions. we discovered we are going through the exact same thing. coincidence? i think not. i decided to join her on her quest to seek the lord in this time. she is fasting for 25 days (no not from food) and i am jumping on board. this went right along with today.

as most would know today is ash wednesday. i have grown up in a southern baptist home and we don't normally do anything for ash wednesday. i always remembered seeing the "catholic girls" walking around with "ashes" on their face. it never phased me. i knew what the day represented, but i never stopped to ponder the seriousness of it. i have been involved in a college group the last two semesters and tonight we went to the ash wednesday service at lacroix. the service was amazing! i was terrified of getting the ashes on my forehead. i am not very accustomed to that, but i promise it wasn't bad. :) brett cheek spoke, and he did a phenomenal job. praise the lord for great pastors!

my list of things that i have prayed and decided to "give up" for twenty five days is as follows:

• ice cream: sacrificing my indulgences and spending that time with god.
• secular music: surrounding myself with the a lifestyle of worship.
• facebook on my phone: keeping myself from being distracted during the day.
• dating: reminding myself that god is enough.
• buying clothes: saving my money for what matters.

i hope that by putitng these for the whole world to see, i will be encouraged to stick with it. i have strength from the God of the universe and i will prevail because he lives in me. my verse for this fasting period is:

"indeed, i count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ. for His sake i ahve suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i may gain Christ." phillipians 3:8

I plan to keep a journal and share with everyone through this little journey. i can't wait to see what God is going to reveal through this time of sacrificing. i hope to have a little "thoughts" post tomorrow! we will see if i have time.

little thoughts

the bachelor makes me frustrated, but i continue to watch it. i want tenley and jake to be together, but i don't want tenley to have another failed relationship and all these relationships fail. the "ali thing" is all staged.

i love the beautiful snow, but would love it even more if it meant i could be off school tomorrow.

i had a fantastic breakfast and lunch with two great friends! i am so excited what god has in store for this semester.

i know that god wants me to do something bigger with my life. i am not sure what it is, but i do know i am so exctied for it.

taking a nap today was well missed, but so appreciated.

it's weather like this that makes me appreciate my remote starter even more.

i am not happy with school. i hope that traveling to africa and having the opportunity to teach will help me appreciate it and have a clearer view with what to do with my life.

i have complete security in my heavenly father and there is nothing better i could ask for.

my prayer life is full of so much. i want clarity at what i can do with the rest of my life that will touch people around the world. i am also praying for life-long friends. that the friends i have would be in my life always and the people i invest my time in, would want to invest that time to me, to bond a life-long relationship.

"for i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

our society.

*disclaimer: some of the quotes are a little "raunchy."
i don't want to be down and out about life in general because i am VERY happy, but there are things in this world that just downright frustrate me. i was waiting for my doctor's appointment the other day and i picked up a magazine...first mistake. anyways, it was the issue of PEOPLE with heidi montag, who now claims she is obsessed with plastic surgery. i used to watch the hills and i always knew her priorities were in all the wrong places, but i knew she understood she was a role model, and expected her to hold herself to a higher esteem. obviously not. in this article it explains that she underwent ten different procedures to "fix" her already fine body. in the interview she was asked, "do you think you are obsessed?" her response was, "i'm already planning my next surgery-i'm determined to get bigger ones! i know it sounds crazy (she is now a DDD) but I just love boobs!" i mean really? the girls in this world that are searcing for something and don't have parents to guide them in the right direction and turn to people like her, are now going to think they need to spend over $30,000 to become a "perfect" they will never be? her next quote is even "better." after being asked, "does it bother you that people will fixate on your boobs?" her reply is rather shocking. heidi comes back with, "i hope so. they better! that is kind of the point. sex appeal is really important." i feel really sad that my children will have to grow up in this society. obviously, i will protect and guard my children from these things, but there is no way to escape it completely.
not only do i think this is completely jacked, but there are two shows that i know of that are focused on teen pregnancy. statistics show it is estimated that one in THREE girls will get pregnant before age twenty. these girls being girls who are not married and are not out of school. the stats are on a constant rise and it breaks my heart. girls, be responsible. there are no joys of being pregnant and not married and yet a teenager. shame on society and parents who give off the vibe that "it's okay." if there were consequences instead of a pat on the back, would there be so many pregnancies? i dont think so. and why?! does america and media feel it is appropriate to give awareness to these girls. should we shun them? of course not, but i do not feel they should be paraded around to make others feel like it is okay. i have two close friends that have had precious baby girls before they were married. neither one of them was able to finish school and both of them wouldn't give their baby up for anything. but both girls have explained they wish they would have said NO. these statistics scare me and make me so sad. the media as well as america has their priorities in all of the wrong places.
i apologize for the heavy-hearted message, but this has been on my heart for sometime now. anyone willing to pray, please pray for my health. an issue i dealt with for three years in highschool is back and it is by far the most frustrating thing. i will perservere with god's help and love, but i would appreciate the prayers. i have many big decisions to make in the next few weeks, so we shall see.
"let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:16-17